The Journey of Service

The fate of the world, Thomas Edison, and leaving it all behind

2008-06-13T00:05:00.000-07:00

I think that God knows that we can’t handle really knowing what’s going to happen to this world. This thought is not completely foreign to me, but it is still being tested. I haven’t ever gotten to know this concept as well as I should and I never will, honestly, because it is so incredibly difficult to not worry. I know I’m not the only one going through this, and on top of that, I am not the only one going through ignoring my worries either. And if people ignore their worries like I do, then they are doing it because there is simply too much to handle, and they don’t know what to do with all the worries they have built up. This is probably why Jesus was a couple bazillion steps ahead of us on this concept and told us almost as soon as he could in his life to not worry too much. [Sidenote: Isn’t it strange to think about how involved Jesus is in even the structure and nature of our souls? Not only does he know each one piece by piece, but he made them – he even drew up the plans! Not coincidental at all that he would know how to fix them. Who would you go to to fix your lightbulb: (A) Thomas Edison (B) Edgar Allen Poe.]

I was watching the news tonight which reported to America about another two natural disasters today, not to mention the ones that people are probably still fighting, like the fires in California. Now I don’t watch the news that much, but I am pretty sure I’m being accurate when I say that the last few times I’ve seen it, every single time there has been another natural disaster reported, added to an already existing one and/or some sort mixture of human fatalities. And, yes, I realize that it’s the news, and they’re supposed to report things like that, but it’s not that they’re reporting it, it’s that it’s happening. Did we really used to have another natural disaster every day when I was five? Thinking about the fate of the world is what got me started on the above thought, or I guess what got me thinking about it again, at least.

When I was in Nigeria I got to do something that not many people I know get to do. I got to ignore the extreme problems of the world first hand. I got to live surrounded by worry and sorrow in such a natural way, that I had absolutely no choice but to ignore it partly because it’s not as bad as it sounds, and partly because it is. It’s been a month since I’ve gotten back to the States, and a month before that that I wrote my last blog because I’ve been struggling with my whole experience and writing it down for you. It’s like a term paper that I don’t want to mess up; in a way the end of something, in a way, the beginning. And I’m sorry because I still can’t explain everything that happened between the last time I wrote and now. I got really sick after getting back, finally just finished taking anti-malaria pills, work full time between three jobs, try to see Richard everyday, started exercising regularly (something I’ve never done voluntarily in my life), and have gotten involved in church activities and such since I’ve been back. While I was there in the last month I experienced third-world life in a different light, took a trip to a different part of the country and then experienced Nigeria in a different light, made a difference to little kids in a more immediate way, and actually worked on projects almost every day I wasn’t packing for something. That wasn’t that hard to say, but I still feel… wrong, almost, because for a while I couldn’t get over the fact that (a) people were walking around living normal lives, ignoring the worries and extreme troubles of the world and (b) that I couldn’t walk around and have a normal life and ignore the troubles of the world like I had first hand just a little bit ago. (I think there’s just something about at least being there that makes you think you’re doing something to help.)

A friend and past teacher of mine created this ingenious adaptation from Jesus’ statement that is really only what we really need, into something that helps us to pay more attention to the original Author. He told me that perhaps God doesn’t want us to worry about the big things in life, but to just work on our faith, love, and relationships each day. Perhaps God wasn’t joking when he said that he wanted us to love our neighbor and be hard workers and faithful to him, and respectful to the government. This thought makes me want to cry with relief! I think all along I have been setting my own standard too high for what needs to be accomplished. God knows I can’t do anything all by my lonesome.

So in this long and very, very rambly, and random, and jumpy blog, I just had to tell you that God is in control. Jesus is coming soon and it makes me sad for all the people that will suffer until he does, and I want to worry about it sometimes, but God knows that I can’t handle it. So I’m writing this for my own good, to remind myself, as much as I’m writing it to you, perhaps so you can see it for the first time.

Good night world.

Tell Me About Your Heuschma

2008-03-08T01:36:00.000-08:00

This is a special report on the communication issues one has to deal with while living in a different country. And since we all know that communication is the basis for living comfortably among other people, we all know that it can get messy sometimes.
You may not realize that even though I’m in an English speaking country that there is definite communication breakdown. I dare not venture to say it’s worse than being completely surrounded by a different language, but it certainly creates a lot of different issues, especially when the whole country has been learning English wrong for quite a while. Then again who am I to actually say what’s right or wrong? Just because I’m good at English doesn’t mean I know everything about it. Anyway, just so you can experience the confusion that comes with accents and regional dialects of English when it’s mixed with native tribal words, I’ve written some observations down for you.
(1) Their questions do not go up at the end, they sound just as much like statements as statements do, so often times when they are asking you something you might not be aware that it’s a question until the 3rd or 4th time.
(2) “Taken” means to them what “eaten” means to us.
(3) I don’t have to adapt such cultural ways of talking like “Ahaaa”, the new suffix –o, and their obsession with “ok, ok!” but it makes things more fun, and more understandable for them. I also adapt an accent most of the time because they honestly hardly can understand me otherwise.
(4) They are often very vague. Maybe they do this on purpose to make conversations longer, but I don’t quite appreciate it like that. “I have taken this” as answer to a question will be shortened to “I have” which is something we are accustomed to, but those of us who are really proper generally add a “yes” or something akin to that. What’s confusing about this is that you might ask them if they have something and instead of saying “yes” (which is a pretty simple answer, by the way) they’ll say “I have.” You have what? Do you really have? I understand… but just finish the sentence! I haven’t blown up about this yet though so don’t worry.
(5) “I’m coming” means they are coming back… sometime. Could be a few minutes, or as soon as they possibly could within the next hour—like Americans would interpret it—or it could be next morning, or a even whole day away. No joke. One time, we were waiting outside a locked building for an hour and a half for a guy who was “coming.” A classic example of being very vague. You might say that this isn’t that bad, because sometimes things like this happen with those of us who use English as our first language too, but the difference is that this is as far as they go in explaining it to you. So if you ask them when they’re coming back, you’ll only confuse them and they’ll repeat “I’m coming.” Which leads me to my next point.
(6) Being direct is not an option. This may sound similar to point 4, “They are often very vague,” but it’s different. They will be indirect to the point of pain. It’s so weird to be listening to a normal conversation about families or something and then finding out when one party leaves that someone got roped into doing something. Really? I thought it was just a conversation about life.
(7) Their scale of well-being is different than ours. “Wonderful,” “awful,” and “awesome” all mean the same thing: full of wonder or awe – often times not in a good way. “Fine” is the best compliment or grade of anything, “Okay” is next, and then “very good,” “good,” “not so good,” then “manageable.” If someone asks you how your night was and you replied with something like, “horrible,” they would probably be so confused they’d be speechless, which probably wouldn’t add to your mood so well since you just had a bad night, and now you had to explain it, so just don’t do it.
(8) Not greeting someone is a terrible insult. And greeting them with the wrong greeting isn’t too fantastic either, but I think they’re ok with me messing up because I’m oyinbo (foreigner aka anyone not dark skinned), I don’t really understand their culture, and they get to laugh at me in the process, and they dearly love to laugh. The reason I say “greet” instead of “saying hello” to everyone is because that’s not really considered a proper greeting. More proper would be “good morning” for any hour before 12:00pm, “good afternoon” from the hours 12:00pm-4:00pm, and “good evening” for any time after 4:00pm, which can be switched with “good night” (even at 4:00) as long as you won’t be seeing that person for the rest of the day. If they are working, if they are eating, if you are eating, if you haven’t seen them since yesterday, or if you haven’t seen them since yesterday when they were working, if you see them once in the morning and then later on in the morning when they are now working, there will be a different greeting for each one, and then many, many more beyond that. So depending on your situation and the other person’s you could easily exchange at least four or five equally appropriate greetings before you start talking about anything.
(9) That being said, once you start talking about something—if it’s not already a part of your greeting—you ask the other person how their family is, and their own health, and their night, if you haven’t seen them since yesterday, and maybe even their home. Then you can start talking about whatever it is you were going to talk about. But even if you weren’t going to talk about anything, those things would be appreciated by the greet-ee each time.
(10) The suffix “ –o” I referred to in (4) is actually the Yoruba word (word, not letter, mind you) for “you”. It is the nice way to say things because it makes whatever it is more personal. For example E kaaro means “good morning” but to be nice, properly you would say E kaaro o, which to me sounds the same, but to them, apparently not. No one cares anyway, as long as there’s an “o” sound at the end of that, you’re good, but I like to draw it out an extra 1/2 a second to really get the feeling that I’m Nigerian.
(11) “Well done” is not a gradient of cooked meat. In fact, if someone happens to be cooking meat, there’s really only one way to have it: the way they give it to you, because if you refuse a gift, that is very very bad. Anyway, “well done” is what you say to someone while they are working. So if you are at all eating meat, you might try saying “well done” to the person cooking it but the only thing you will get is E she o! (which means thank you), and a bite-size piece of some sort of blackened muscle.
(12) The terms used when referring to someone are very important and they have specific guidelines. If you use the wrong one, it’s like getting called a child when you’re 13 and you scream out, “I’m a teenager!” except that everyone feels that way, even without the hormonal expectations that would cause such a grudge from a 13 year old.

Baby – Child who has not started school yet (keep in mind that they generally start at age 3).

Girl or Boy – Female or male child who is within the proper ages to be in any schooling before secondary school (equivalent of middle and high school together).

Auntie or Uncle – Anyone except a boy or girl if you don’t know them, or the term students use toward teachers.

Sister or Brother – Anyone if you’re religious, more seriously those that are the same town or tribe as you, and quite literally those that are born from one of the same parents as you.

Ma or Sir – Woman or man of higher standing than Auntie or Uncle. A visitor would be “Ma” or “Sir”, and more generally if you knew they were over a certain age, or if they have lots of children.

Mama or Mommy, or Baba or Daddy – General terms used toward people you don’t know but you know are older than you. More respectful than Auntie or Uncle

Mama _____ or Baba _____ (insert their child’s name) – What you would call someone in place of a name, if they so wished, generally used among friends or good acquaintances. Especially used (at least by oyinbo) when they have a particularly difficult name to pronounce, or among everyone when they have a child of high standing somehow. For example, someone that works for Belen is called Mama Twins, because she has twins, and twins are a very special thing in the Yoruba tribe. Or Belen is referred to as Mama Joshua or Mama Michaela because everyone recognizes little oyinbo children.
(13) Back to the literary side of things, I should mention that they don’t know how to pronounce “h” or “th”. This creates a series of problems with me as a teacher. One day, as I was covering homonyms (for those of you who don’t know: words that mean different things but sound the same), I was writing down this huge list mostly to just cover “to”, “two” & “too”, and “they’re”, “their” & “there”. But then I came upon “here”, “hear” and, according to the class, “ear” and “hair”. Homonyms for “it” is “hit”, “is” is “his”, and “at” is “hat”. Also the “th” sound is pronounced “d” if that even, otherwise it’s just “t”. So “that” is pronounced either “dat” or “tat” most of the time. Kids are hard enough to understand anyway, so when you add in the fact that they pronounce basic words differently and that they have a much different word choice for many things, conversations should be near impossible. So sometimes students will be telling me things that I cannot wrap my mind around to figure out at all, and some Yoruba someone will have to interpret. Just the other day I had this conversation with a student:

Student: “Auntie, they’ve took my heuschma.” (pronounced heuschma)
Me: “What?”
Student: “They’ve took my heuschma.”
Me: “What is that?”
Student: “My heuschma.”
Me: “You have a heuschma? I don’t know what that is.”
Student: “My heuschma.”
Me: “What is a heuschma?”
Student: “Thank you, Auntie.” (runs off)
Honestly I still do not know whatever a heuschma might be, and even less do I understand how I helped him in any way.
(14) Finally, the last thing I have to say about Nigerian English (at least for now), is that they love to talk about food. Since interesting conversation has to include topics that both sides understand, often times the conversations will be boiled down to weather, religion, teaching, and food. Since we get tired of talking about the weather, teaching doesn’t change much and we do it all day anyway, and religion is just about the same, food is the most talked about subject between me and my Nigerian friends, aka, the teachers. The only reason I really mention this is because if you ever happen to come to Nigeria, and more specifically a place where the Yoruba tribe is, make sure you like spicy food because the first, most memorable, and most confusing conversations all have to do with food, and since you haven’t tried their food, or don’t know what it was called if you have, they will bring you some to eat. Then you will end up like me last quarter, eating Nigerian food every morning and getting addicted to the simple, fattening ways of palm oil, chili peppers, beans and rice (or at least having stomach issues from it).

So I hope you have learned a little bit about Nigerian communication, and possibly their culture, and of course, what I have to deal with every day. It sure has been fun to report.

Snakes, Thunderstorms, School and More Malaria

2008-03-05T12:06:00.000-08:00

I’m writing this on the 28th of February, though I don’t think I’ll be able to post it until much later since I’ve hardly been able to get on the Internet lately at all.

And just now, so recent that I had to stop writing this blog in order to move my computer away from the window, was the first thunderstorm I’ve experienced here, and wow was it magnificent. I had to go outside just so I could stand in the awesome wind and feel the fear of God. But then it got really dusty and I heard thunder, so I ran inside to see if I could jar my slated windows free of their rusty confines in order to close them. Anyway, it was fantastic – I love God’s nature so much! (Especially when it leans in the opposite direction of the 90° ish kind of weather.)

So that’s good news, though I’m not sure rainy season has really started, because it’s supposed to start by the earliest in April. If it’s not time yet, everyone’s fooled… well at least the snakes, because they’re out already and they’re not supposed to come out until the rainy season’s started. I’ve already seen what I think were two vipers, and another two dead snakes on the road. Along with this surprise of realizing there were snakes here, I found out all three kinds are deadly poisonous! This, of course, was after my first encounter with a snake, in which I happened to be about three feet away from.

Another interesting tidbit about me is that I came down with malaria about a month ago. At first I had no idea that what I had was that bad, it kept getting just a little bit worse it seemed, but there’s no getting around the fact that I really felt awful during the days preceding my blood test. When I told Richard (my boyfriend) he told me to tell Belen right away, but I didn’t think anything was bad enough yet. Finally one day after the symptoms had seemed to get a little bit worse, he again asked me to tell her and I had a really strong feeling that I probably should. She said that I definitely should get a blood test because malaria just isn’t something you play around with. That night I found out I had it, and started treatment right away though I didn’t feel any better at all the next day, instead I seemed to feel worse. The next day, though, I felt like someone had siphoned a bag of sand from my bones overnight, and suddenly walking wasn’t so hard. So the only way I knew how bad I felt was in comparison to after my medicine kicked in.

One thing I didn’t understand right away was that what I had was the same malaria that could turn into cerebral malaria – the same kind I talked about in my previous blog – and I didn’t really find this out until last week. Bad communication led me to believe that I had a lesser kind that wasn’t as big a deal as the one that Michaela and Joshua and Belen all got. But that’s not true because if I hadn’t treated it, it could have easily turned into cerebral malaria. Apparently it was malaria month because all four of us got it within four weeks. Unfortunately Michaela had it again just this week, and scared us all by being bedridden for 4 days without eating. It seems their malaria medicine isn’t working so well, but I think mine is fine, except that I had been a few hours off of my daily one a few times and only when I take it absolutely on-the-dot is it 99% effective. Anyway, I’m better now, and Michaela seems to being doing much better once again.

So the big story for this blog is as follows:

I was put directly into a teaching position when the new year started for grades 3-5 because the English teacher quit and they didn’t know until the first day back at school. Apparently she didn’t tell them, though she told me, and I wasn’t aware of the sincerity of the situation. I was wondering all Christmas break if they were going to ask me to teach so I could at least prepare something, but they never did so I assumed they had someone. When I found out they didn’t have a teacher, I had extremely mixed feelings. At first I was thrilled to be doing something so involved finally, thinking, “Surely this is why God has led me here!” But it didn’t take long to be not so thrilled. Either the indirect nature of their culture or the awkward situation as a whole led them to refuse to tell me outright that I was the teacher. This whole time I was thinking that no one would come at this time of the year that would be good enough for the Seventh-day Adventist system, since it is known as one of the best school systems here in Nigeria. I underestimated the amount of unemployment apparently, because within 3 or 4 weeks there was another teacher. I had no idea anything would happen that fast and I was trying to mentally prepare myself for teaching these kids English without having taken any teaching classes, owning a curriculum, or even having a teacher’s textbook to use. Most of all, I was worried about discipline because the system they use is the method of the stick, and I couldn’t get around the feeling of not wanting to beat kids. But these 4 weeks of thinking I was the teacher for these kids for the rest of the year forced me to come up with either a new discipline system or a better reason for not hitting these kids than “because I can’t.” I tried a new system and after a few days I could tell it wasn’t going to work, but I thought that a lot of things need more time than a few days… so I waited a week and lost my patience with that idea. I can honestly say without a doubt that that was the most stressful week of my life. When you have 30-40 kids in one classroom that don’t fully understand your English, can’t hear you because your voice is dying from yelling too much, and are taking advantage of the fact that you don’t carry a stick around, you will truly know the meaning of stress. I was immediately pushed to make a better decision on why I disliked beating kids so much. I now know why I obtained such a strong moral feeling against “beating” because I naturally value human life to a great degree, and grew up in a society that is very against child abuse. Maybe I forgot to mention something that I assume everyone realizes, and that is that the beatings they go through here are so much more severe than any I’ve seen before. So if they were to take one of the teachers here and put them in an American classroom, after a few days they’d be arrested. I looked at their punishment with sadness and disgust in my days before teaching, but then the teacher they had wasn’t as bad on them as the others I had to deal with later either. Then I really saw the true nature of things, and how the kids would mock me for not beating them, laugh at the beatings of other kids, and master lying to avoid punishment at a severe degree. One time the class of 40 was being so bad that I asked them if they wanted to be beaten. Minus four or five, all of them said yes enthusiastically and started flocking to me, “waiting” for their punishment. I just stared, dumbstruck at what to do, thinking to myself, “These kids are sick in the head”, so I made them kneel for the rest of the class (another form of punishment) even if they didn’t do anything bad. Another teacher walked by, saw that I was having issues, and went to get a large stick to beat them for me. As he beat each of them, some would move and get hit on the head, and one girl started bleeding from right next to her eye. They were all crying loudly, and so when he left I asked them, “Didn’t you want to be beat?” And their reply? Laughter. Instantly, their reply went from loud and dramatic wailing to laughter, all of them faking their distress, except the few that didn’t want to be beat and the ones who were bleeding. After this point, I realized the true nature of the way things worked as far as discipline and struggled with my methods a little bit longer, than came to the conclusion that I had to deal with a discipline they understood. I can still remember the first time I hit a little boy, and how it felt. I felt like my hand was detached from my body afterwards, like someone else had done it and not me. Unfortunately I had to do it more, but the class was shocked enough that I did anything at all, that they were quiet for a few more days on their own without me doing anything. In the rest of the time, I had to hit less than a dozen kids to keep them to a somewhat manageable degree, and since the new teacher came I haven’t hardly hit more than two or three.

Now, with the new teacher keeping peace, there are quite a few moments during my school day when I can actually hear myself, and it’s a relief. Instead of teaching, I am now an assistant again, just grading the stacks of paper for all but 20 minutes of my 5 hours, and occasionally getting the chance to teach them something again. I definitely appreciate teaching more now that they respect, or at least pretend to respect me. But it still has its issues especially because they still cannot understand my English very well, and they fail to tell me when they have questions, turning in their papers without doing anything on it at all. Anytime I can, I’ll work with some students one-on-one if I see an opportunity to fix something really important or that I know how to handle. These are the most rewarding moments, along with knowing they finally understand me after laughing at some of my jokes. I like making them even if they don’t, because then I have a chance to laugh anyway. 

I realize more than ever that all of my most stressful times have been times I’ve pushed myself away from God, and all of my most joyous times have been when I’ve realized this and gone running back to him. This trip has included so many of each of those moments, to the extreme, and I still passionately dislike the heat, and ardently miss my boyfriend, family and friends. So if anyone asks me how my trip has been, however am I supposed to respond?

I guess don’t have anything else to say other than, “God has led me through it.”

A New Year Novel

2008-01-04T13:45:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year everyone! Here is a real, true, live update. I wrote it and posted it in the same day.

I am sitting in my host family’s house babysitting their two kids as I have done before when the parents are both needed somewhere else. Such is the life of these involved doctor parents, and it looks like their kids will probably turn out somewhat the same. Michaela and Joshua are constantly occupied with playtime and book reading, but not today because four-year-old Michaela has malaria. “Having malaria” is a common term the natives use for saying the symptoms of malaria are strong on a certain day, since pretty much everyone has it, and the symptoms only come when the immune system is not doing as well. There are so many different types of malaria, and most Africans can live quite alright with it, so they don’t often treat it or take preventative measures for it unless it is severe malaria. But for those who haven’t grown up with it, it is a different story, and possibly quite a scary one since there is a special kind of malaria in this part of Africa called cerebral malaria that effects the brain. I don’t know much more about anything, except that it’s hard to tell which kind you have except for the patterns in the symptoms. Unfortunately most malarias have symptoms that are pretty much the same, except for sure the cerebral kind, but since it is more severe you don’t want to get to that point. That’s why when you have malaria for the first time, especially foreigners, it should be treated very seriously. Yesterday when Michaela first started feeling icky I didn’t understand the implications on her health until Belen stated she was going to wake her up to check on her mental abilities. “Whoa. What?” I thought. And I asked them when they were done checking on her how long it took for cerebral malaria to become seriously damaging.

“Within hours.”

Talk about a brick wall. Suddenly everything slowed down and I got a chance to glimpse into another part of Nigerian life. I’m not implying that Michaela is fatally sick, because she appears to be doing much better today, but it did give me a small glimpse into what it would be like if she was. When a child dies in America, it is a big deal – devastating, a huge tragedy – when a child dies in Africa it is sorrowful and tragic of course, but common almost. Even saying these things, I know you cannot fully understand. It was only after I got a chance to experience a part of Michaela’s life that I could take a small peek into this understanding. I laughed with her. I got impatient with her. I pretended with her. I read to her. I disciplined her. I taught her. And only after that could I see more fully what a difference in definition “tragedy” is to Africa then to America.

It is still difficult for me to understand their (native) lives and how they live so basically and survive. Survival of course is an innate sense but I am referring to being able to live comfortably and with a sort of insurance on everything working out alright. Insurance? What’s that? When a car crashes, it gets pushed to the side of the road. When a house burns down, two families cram together in one house. When the government wants land, it will be taken from whoever whenever. When equipment fails, it’s lost. There are no receipts, no return policies, and no set prices. When you need water, you may not have it. When you need food, you may not have it. If you get robbed, your stuff is gone. If your child gets kidnapped, only prayer will bring her back. If the police ask for money, then you should probably give them money. If you ever run out of money, then you will have to borrow from a friend or resort to bartering until you have enough again. Here is a perspective the Adventist hospital here is trying change: “if you are sick you will stay sick unless you have enough money to pay for it.” I’ve heard many times that they will find sponsors for people who don’t have enough money to pay for their hospital bills, or they will dip into their Patient Care fund, where people have donated a lump sum especially for that purpose.

At home one of my favorite shows was Extreme Makeover: Home Edition because I so enjoyed all those families living in extremely poor conditions getting an unexpected chance at living in a mansion. Honestly, I cry during that show, so I was blown away when I got here. I knew it was going to be bad, of course, but I didn’t realize that I would be able to count on one hand how many upper-class houses I’ve seen. I could probably say the same for the middle-class houses as well. When I say “upper-class” they are nice because they have walls that completely enclose the house, and probably a few air conditioning units. Most of their money is spent on their fence, and maybe a few of them might even have pools and some nice rugs and furniture. In fact, they probably have a way to have power, or use a generator most of the time, and actually have some comforts that a good portion of Americans may not have. But really the equivalent of an upper-class house to us is an upper-middle-class house at best. Middle-class houses are what we would consider lower-class houses in the States. Lower-class houses are what we would consider junk piles. And still everyone has rats. Everyone has dirt and dust everywhere. Practically no one has a refrigerator. Everyone loses power at some point in the day. Everyone experiences bad traffic. A good portion doesn’t have running water. And like I said, every family experiences sickness. The very basics of what we expect out of life – such as good health and a place to sleep at night – are not things that most of Africa experiences. The truth is I don’t know the amount of people in extreme poverty, or even poverty. I don’t know where to draw the line. I don’t know how to convey it, even more so because when I say “almost all” it doesn’t seem to get the message across.

I know that you’ve heard the Africa story over and over but don’t do it…. Don’t lump this with the others in the back of your brain until it’s your turn to tell an exciting story. Ever wonder why you hear so many of the same stories with the same endings and the same troubles from Africa? IT’S BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL TRUE. I think it is hard for us to be impacted by this because we cannot understand living our lives like so many others are. I’m telling you now that it’s extremely difficult for me to understand it and I’m living in it right now! But I can’t forget who these people are because I’m talking with them, greeting them, and answering questions on my well being, all the while surrounded by this “impossible to imagine” environment. It is really hard, and I don’t expect to fully understand it by the time I come home. But I do know this: when I come home I won’t get mad at the waitress for bringing me the wrong food because I’ll be happy to have guaranteed food (like I have now), let alone the options. Let alone the promise of getting to the restaurant safely. Let alone eating with those I love. Let alone sitting in a temperature-controlled environment. Let alone being able to pay for food. Let alone knowing I’ll be able to eat another meal another day, let alone the same day. Let alone knowing I’ll be going home to a warm bed and enclosed walls with a soft pillow and fuzzy blankets. Not that every culture doesn’t have its general issues. Not that the human race isn’t all struggling in a world of sin and constant trials. But experiencing another country’s trials opens up a perspective.

There is something that changes a missionary. Someone who goes into a different culture, who tries to make a difference, who isn’t doing it for side reasons or business purposes… there is a change that happens to that person. It changes them because they see the environment they must live in for a certain amount of time and they are forced to change in order to adjust and they must go on through the rest of their lives having experienced that change. They will never look at life the same. And it is their job to help others realize why they changed and act as a middle-man between two very different cultures. Because I know you may never experience the same things I am experiencing I will try to do my best to interpret this life to you.

As promised...

2007-12-27T08:27:00.000-08:00

So here's a summary of everything so far as promised...

I won’t be doing secretarial work like they had suggested earlier, but I’ll be helping out with many projects throughout the year along with reading for 10-20 minutes a day to the school children. I’ll also be helping out with Pathfinders, which is much overloaded, and with the children’s choir that my host mother (Belen) puts on, as well as starting a worship band with Eric, Belen, and some of the local teens. Also they have an awesome outreach service here that takes a group of students out into the jungle to the farmers to pray and read the Bible with them. Eric and I went the first night and to the same group on one of the Sabbaths since they do a church service every week there as well. Unfortunately everything is in Yoruban, so I can neither be helpful nor gain much each time, unless I learn Yoruban fast.

The reading thing is supposed to be helpful because they have such a hard time understanding American English that they don’t generally understand you unless you adopt a British accent of some sort. I objected to my importance in this, when really it doesn’t feel like such a big deal, but there are some good reasons. Yoruba accented English is about the hardest to understand for one thing. We have some seasoned missionaries here that have traveled to a great deal of Africa, and find this region the hardest to communicate with. They explained that this limits the success for the future generations to simply this area, since getting a good prestigious grip on business and title in this world requires going mostly to English speaking countries. Like I said, they speak English, but it’s hardly recognizable, especially to us Americans because the English they learn is British. So when they take English class, the spelling and the pronunciation is British, which is why I faltered in seeing my importance since I would teach differently. But they related a story of an extremely bright student who interviewed at Yale and didn’t get in because of their poor English skills – this student was considered extremely bright, but their English skills made them fail the interview. So they’re thinking that if they could at least learn to understand American English, for those that would want to expand their horizons, they have an opportunity. I do have to agree with them on that – opportunity is a big deal. So I’ll only be reading to them instead of teaching them, but if they want to learn, I will certainly be open to that option. All I can really hope for is that God will use me no matter what; at home or while I am here learning from this experience, and I know it’ll be fun to tell them stories anyway.

Already I’ve helped finish some projects, so I hope that I’ll have enough to stay busy all year. The house I’m staying at is a guest house of the Lohr’s. Jason, the dad and the Medical Director, and Belen, the mom, both specialize in family practice. They have two kids, Michaela, 4, and Joshua, 3, which are nothing but energy and questions. The house is very nice, but I do have to go in an outside hall to get to the bathroom and separate shower which is odd at night since there are security guards for the compound that camp out in front of my house (it’s on a corner of the compound). Also since they view shorts on women as promiscuous, I have to put on some different clothes if I ever go outside at night. Hehe. I am very comfortable in my little house by now though; Belen made sure I had a good start by giving me curtains for privacy and a battery operated lamp so I’m not always in the dark when the electricity turns off. The effect of no electricity is something that I’m sure is hard for people in the States to understand because there it is on constantly, but it’s actually off most of the day here. This is difficult because it affects everything, not just houses, so it is SO DARK when it happens at night. I have never seen such pitch black darkness. It’s also hard because the fans only work with electricity, so when they’re off during the hottest part of the day, everyone is sweating profusely, even the natives.

The compound is beautiful and contains the hospital, a dorm-ish sort of thing for the “interns,” and houses for the doctors. Outside of the compound to the South and West is the Adventist secondary school and ½ of the primary school. The secondary school is in pretty good shape, but the primary school was bombed as an act of vandalism during a local war in 1999. ADRA raised funds to build a new school (the West one) within the same year as the war but they haven’t been able to use it yet because the fence is still broken. When I say fence, I really mean wall, which would keep people out, but more importantly keep children in. This beautiful new-ish school is just sitting over there, being used by the 3^rd-5^th graders because they are old enough to not wander off, but the kids ages 3-8 aren’t allowed over there yet. The fence they want to fix will cost $10,000, which is actually for only two sections of it, but it covers the most dangerous parts they are worried about. So for now, the remaining six grades are in one tiny building with partitions made of flimsy pressboard and a structure of two-by-fours. It is incredibly loud and packed in there so much that one of the classes is held outside mostly. It doesn’t help that they start their kids here at age three in full-time school and of course the classrooms are bursting at the seams with children, and lacking resources on top of that, so the teachers are super stressed out. Still, the Adventist reputation for good schooling here brings in more kids still, and actually educates them, unlike their equivalent of public schools.

The compound is very nice and well-maintained, but outside, in the rest of Nigeria, there is trash EVERYWHERE. Along the highway from Lagos to Ife there are mounds and mounds and mounds of trash just along the road. They don’t have a good place to put their trash, so they burn it when it gets too high or too stinky. We give all of our scraps and bad food to the pet antelope and dogs one of the doctors here owns, which takes care of that, but not everyone else has that option. There are a lot of goats here, but the goats would rather eat grass if there is any, so it doesn’t do a whole lot of good for cleaning things up. Also I’m guessing that a lot of other people have issues with bad food because only the people with backup batteries can keep the refrigerator on when the power turns off. And as far as I’ve seen, only a few families have that luxury, and all of them are within the compound. Traffic is the main cause of death here, as it is in most countries I believe, but I think it is significantly more so here. The roads are so incredibly bad, and they hardly have any traffic rules, especially ones they reinforce. To go to the school everyday I have to cross a main street, and it is actually a scary thing to do. It’s about the equivalent of crossing a 45 mph zone on a hill without any lines or lights… and blind drivers. So, in a nutshell, it’s scary to drive here.

When I first got here I was definitely culture shocked, and missed home a lot, especially over the holidays. But it’s gotten a little better now, and even more so after getting some more nice homely things for my room and some nice packages from the States. The biggest thing I can do here is be as good a Christian I can because that is the one power they have just handed over to me. I am an oyinbo, or a white person, and everyone is watching me to see what I do. I have ultimate influence on the kids at school, so even if I don’t teach them a bit of English, they might possibly be changed…by my actions? This is a hopeful statement, and at the same time, quite a frightening one – all that influence, placed on me, a human. I definitely need your prayers on this one!

Thanks for your continuing support!

A Much Needed Update

2007-12-22T23:39:00.000-08:00

I'M HERE! But I'm sure not many of you are surprised at that. I hacen't been able to get on this specific website this whole time, and I've been here for a little over a month. So when the long term missionaries here said they had Internet, they were kind of kidding. The Internet is so slow that sometimes you have to spend an half an hour just to see one page load, so sending emails and posting blogs is nearly impossible. This may be about the only time I'll be able to get on, so if anything else is posted it might be by my boyfriend or family.

Right now I'm at a Resort for the weekend-before-Christmas family vacation since the father of my host family (Mr. Lohr, aka Jason) has his parents visiting for a few weeks. The Lohrs have been here two and a half years, and have another three and a half left to go. They treat me well, making sure I'm comfortable and not too homesick. The truth of it is, it's impossible to avoid missing home. I definitely miss Richard, my family, flavored ice cream and the climate, even though it is nice to be here. I think at this point in time I'm getting past what they call the "honeymoon" stage where I just love everything here and am now starting to not have so much fun with it. But since you haven't heard about all my rants and raves about this place so far, I'll try to update you throughout time.

One thing's for sure: It's hot. So I got sunburned once already wearing sunblock at all the appropriate times and places, reminding me that we are a lot closer to the sun here. So I used the Lohr's sunblock which is supposed to be impenatrable, as they claim, because they apparently have not got burned once since they've been here. I put this stuff on twice, when they said I only needed it once, and I still got burned. It's never gotten too bad though, so I am still in good health!

Anyway, I don't have much time to be on here, so hopefully I'll get some updates through family and friends to everyone. Just wanted to let you know I'm here and doing alright, though a bit homesick and thank you for your prayers and support as always!

OFFICIAL PLANS!

2007-11-07T12:37:00.001-08:00

I now have official plans to go to Nigeria and am leaving *drumroll*.... next Monday! (5 days away.) My stress level is now back on the charts to normalcy and am doing quite well with the whole situation at the moment, especially considering that now I can start thinking about actually leaving my family, friends and boyfriend behind for a solid 7+ months. Quite sad, but for now, I'm so relieved to have some solid plans underway!!!!

The tickets are bought and arrangements made so that I'll be leaving from Portland late Monday afternoon with a long trip ahead of me filled with anxiousness and anxiety toward what is to come. It's funny how I thought I had learned patience earlier on this summer, because I wasn't quite done with that lesson yet. This has definitely been a great learning experience as far as hard decisions come and now all I have to do is hope and pray that this is the one God has led me to.

As usual, your prayers are soo soooooo welcome, I appreciate all that the power of prayer has done for me in my life, especially all the times that I don't know about it! Of course you can still donate funds if you wish (instructions are farther down in this blog) especially because there were a few unexpected things I am possibly paying for, and my goal never was really reached. Thank you so much to everyone who has helped out already, and I will continue to keep you all updated!

"Has the Lord redeemed you? Then speak out! Tell others he has saved you from your enemies." Psalm 107:2

Still in America

2007-10-14T12:33:00.000-07:00

Since it's been a while since I've posted an update, I'm here to let you know what's going on. I am still in America. I am waiting for my visa to come back to me in the mail, along with my passport which will come together, and then I'll buy some tickets to fly out in the next week. This makes me feel so much better because the whole not knowing when I'm going to leave is about to make me internally combust. I have discovered about myself that I do want to know when exactly important things are going to happen, but I can be spontaneous about the small stuff. I feel better knowing that about myself, especially after knowing that I will know at least a week before I leave that I'm actually going to leave. (well that wasn't confusing)

So that's the update on me, as far as funds, I'm having communication issues with the Student Missions office at Walla Walla so therefore I don't know the latest info. The school is changing the email system there, and I am left in the dark about what to do about it, so I will be able to check my fundraising status as soon as I can call the wonderful Tech help there. :) Oh joy.

God is so good. Sometimes I just need to say that to other people to remember what it means to me. I have been waiting and waiting for this thing to go through and getting impatient and stressed out and ignoring my feelings to make it easier sometimes, but I woke up this morning thinking that there is a reason I did not go early. Whatever it is that is better because I've waited a little longer to go is because God wanted the best thing for me. I know that there is one relationship for sure that has been started in the time that I've supposed to be gone in, that probably would have NEVER been started otherwise. I wouldn't trade almost anything for this relationship, and therefore I know that God is good. I am SO thankful that he wants the best for me. What a great God we serve. I hope God continues to bless all of you as he is blessing me day by day! :)

Links to pay attention to

2007-09-14T23:00:00.001-07:00

Hey, while I'm at it, I might as well post another... post. I wanted to let everyone know that the links I've added to this page are really special for a reason. Sarah's blog is a link to my close friend, Sarah obviously, who has taken a Student Missionary position in neighboring Chad, Africa as a nurse; you can read about her experience there.

My myspace is a link to well, my myspace page. The only reason I included this link is because I have other blog posts there and pictures that paint a much bigger person of who I am, so just because.

The other link, which I am really excited about, is this awesome site that is dedicated to various non-profit organizations that are dedicated to being good samaritans. It is a Christian's proudest dream site that includes stopping hunger, deprivation of rainforests, illiteracy, and furthering breast cancer research, rescuing of stray animals, and children's health. HERE'S WHAT YOU DO: click on my link, bookmark the page (because I want you to do this everyday), then click on the big button that says "click here." You have just donated a cup of food for those who previously did not have any. To continue in your good will mission, click on the various tabs at the top of the page and click on the big buttons for each of those. Talk about free charity, this is the one of the best things ever! Please make a difference and click on each of these donating sites each day (since you can only do this once a day). This means be faithful. EVERYDAY. Make a difference, click everyday. I don't have to tell you thanks for this.

Not too long now...

2007-09-14T22:10:00.000-07:00

By next Wednesday I can finally start mentally preparing myself for this amazing journey I'm about to take. All that's left for me to go is that my call needs to be approved by the General Conference, which will happen Wednesday, in turn giving me way to purchase my visa, insurance and plane tickets. I can't wait until I have an actual date set though I suppose I have learned valuable patience this summer in not knowing so far.

I know what my position is going to be over there, but I'm a little sketchy on the details, so there will be more info to come on that. My finances have risen a bit - thanks to all who helped! - but it doesn't change the rounding much, so I'm still at about the same place as last time. I have however received many well wishes and prayers which I am so grateful for, for as the time comes closer and closer, I am realizing just how much prayer I reallyl do need. Seriously, as you read this, please just stop for a second and pray for my safety and my journey in expanding my Christian heart as well as living a witness' life.

Thank you so much.

I am quite excited about giving some of the things I have collected over to the children over there. Working at Toys R Us gave me lots of opportunity to take advantage of the sales and get school supplies at their cheapest when normally I wouldn't have been able to afford such commodities. Also my sister and brother-in-law are collecting the crayons their kids use at restaurants when they go out to eat, and I am using this opportunity to get rid of the crayons I've had stashed away since who knows when because "they're still good." (Yes!) :) Anyway, this hasn't been much more than an update and I am tired of talking about myself so I'll end on this get-off-your-seat-and-do-something note:

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7

Slowly... into Forward Motion

2007-08-16T23:48:00.000-07:00

So we've been officially invited now! It might sound a little late to be invited to you, but this is a formal invitation that gives way for the rest of the process to proceed. Progress is being made, that's the update, and my funding is at about $1800! (that's about 70%) I'm so thankful that God works things out and that I have wonderful support from all you donors out there. Thank you!

My current state is: tired. Not actually physically tired, but emotionally tired of this world. Last weekend I co-planned a church service with my good friend, Becky Perdew, based on how much we need God to have meaning in our lives. The church service went quite well, even my sermonette that God completely took over - it was great. :) Now, in the aftereffects of being so spiritual I feel like I always have to live up to that level of intimacy with God, even though I know I'm not ready for it. This is emotional exhaustion. I am ready to be so close to God that nothing can separate me from him... wait that's the way it is... sometimes I just need a little perspective. ;) [Romans 8] But still, it takes a lot of rising and falling to get maturity and my spiritual maturity is farther behind than I would like it. Unfortunately this means to be closer to God I have to go through a few more trials, but this is hardly a sacrifice when I think of the endgame.

The Latest

2007-08-07T09:11:00.000-07:00

So for a while there I was considering a position in Malawi, which was teaching and a little more official since it was already set up, but I pretty much think that option is gone now. (Especially because I would have to be leaving this week and I still don't have my visa). I did however receive an answer to prayer in the most recent email from the doctor in Nigeria. He told me that I was an answer to prayer because they had been needing someone to fill a position! I was so excited (I still am) - all I hoped for was to be needed somewhere and now I am. So hopefully the rest of the plans will be worked out smoothly and timely. As for my funds I am technically at $1,500 so only $1,000 more! It's coming close and I am getting very excited.

In the meantime, while I wait for the trip to come, I am busy working at Toys R Us and babysitting my sister's two kids. I also participate in a college-aged youth group called F.L.I.G.H.T. It feels good to be busy and earn a living - I feel really blessed to be kept busy by doing things that I really enjoy. If anyone hasn't heard, my good friend Becky Perdew and I will be putting on a church service this Sabbath talking about the meaning of life with and without God. You are all welcome to come! Sabbath school starts at 9:30 and church starts at 10:50. It's at the Springfield Seventh-day Adventist church in (duh) Springfield. Hope to see you there!

So you want to talk to me?

2007-06-22T12:45:00.000-07:00

I have come to realize that there are some people that did not receive a special-dilly envelope in the fundraising letters I sent out, and that maybe perhaps, there is someone who is reading this that didn't get one at all. If that is the case, and you would like to send a gift to help with my mission year in Africa, here is the information for that.

For a CHECK: Make check out to "Student Missions Fund" DO NOT PUT MY NAME ON IT!!!!
For CREDIT CARD: Specify company (choose from Visa, MasterCard, Discover, or American Express); Write card number and expiration date; sign piece of paper all this lovely information is on.
For CASH: Put in envelope. :) No special instructions here.
For ANY DONATION: Put my name on a SEPERATE piece of paper not directly attached to paper, if my name is on the form of payment, this will not be tax-deductible; Put your name, address, phone and email (somewhat optional) - it will assure that you get a tax-deductible receipt in the mail and so I know who to send my thank-you notes to. :)
To send: Make envelopes out to: Office of Student Missions; Walla Walla College; 204 South College Avenue; College Place, WA 99324-9986

If you would like to contact me otherwise, let me get back to you on that. I don't really want to put my email address for the world to see, so I'll see how I can fix that. (If you received a donation letter, it should be on there.)

As far as the update on the mission, there is no update. I have not heard back from the doctor still and I have sent in the last piece of information that WWC needs from me. Now I just wait and pray for progress that the doctor is making over there. Thanks for your prayers!

Reflective thought for the day: We all try to better our lives and fix our problems by buying new and improved gadgets and toys. Sometimes I wonder how people could live without movies, cell phones, airplanes, refrigerators, stoves, washing machines and diswashers. But God doesn't think about these things as necessities. If they were, then he would have given them to us. Instead he gave us the things we truly need to live a wonderful and worthy life. "By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life." 2 Peter 1:3. So before you start going to the store to get that ultimate chopper, cutter, slicer, dicer to make your freezer-burnt dinner fattier and sweeter, think about what you really need in your life and thank God for his truly amazing power to provide.

Still Waiting

2007-06-15T11:15:00.000-07:00

It has been almost 5 weeks since I decided to take to pursue the call to Nigeria, and now I am almost completely ready to go. For the amount of work that it takes to do such things, I have completed I'd say about 80% of it. With the help of all my family and friends I have just about 70% of fundraising to go already! Thank you so much to anyone who has helped.

Unfortunately the things that take the most amount of time to complete cannot be finished yet. Visas generally take a long time to process, but I cannot start an application for a visa until I have specific instructions from the Adventist General Conference. I cannot get instructions from them until my call is confirmed, and my call is not even completed as far as I know. Right now the fate of what I will be doing next year, along with if I'll be able to make it over there in time lies in the hands of a very busy Doctor in Ife, Nigeria. Prayers will be very much appreciated, especially as I'm reminded of how insignificant I am to making this work after I can no longer seem to get ahold of him.

For lighter news, I discovered yesterday how easily I burn. There is a massive public library in downtown Eugene - my hometown - and after visiting it, I headed straight home with the windows down in my car. As an experiment, I left my left arm on the window ledge the whole way home, where it was constantly in the sun while my right arm was not. When I got out of the car, I held my arms next to each other to discover that, yep, my left arm was sunburned after only 10-15 minutes in the sun. Needless to say, I will be taking a lot of sunscreen to Africa. :)

My favored verse recently is found in Ephesians 4:1-3
"Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love. Always keep yourselves united in the Holy Spirit, and bind yourselves together with peace."

And the preparations continue....

2007-05-16T10:23:00.000-07:00

Hello to all,

This is my first post on the site I designated to track my mission service within the next year. (Hopefully I'll get to use it!) Currently I haven't even sent out the letters yet, but I figured I should set the site up before I did.

Here you can see what I'm doing in my daily life with a little more detail then I would include within mass emails. Also you can come and check out the updates anytime you want! If you want to be subscribed to my blog, just click on the "Subscribe to: Posts (atom)" link at the bottom of the page, then you'll be sent an email any time I post a new blog!

For now I won't be posting a whole lot except for finalizations on what I'm doing, how my fund-raising is going and maybe a list or two. Of course I am known to go off on things sometimes, so perhaps there'll be a few thoughts here and there, but just so you know, those other things will be on here too in case you want to check.

Ta-ta for now,
MJ